Monday, August 5, 2013

Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married (book)

I just finished the book Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman. It was helpful and insightful. He brought up things I hadn't thought about.

Before I say anything else about it my only complaints are that sometimes he gets a little pushy about reading his other books like The Five Love Languages and he puts down his early years of marriage a lot. I intend to read his other books because this one was actually helpful but I don't need a plug in every other chapter about how I should get read the others. And he makes his marriage sound terrible throughout the whole book. As if he and his wife just hated each other after marriage.

Other than that it was good. I think my favorite chapter was I Wish I Had Know That Toilets Aren't Self Cleaning. This chapter discussed how couples need to talk about who does what around the house. His example was in his house he never saw who cleaned the toilet he just knew it was cleaned. In her house her dad always cleaned it so she expected him to do that once they were married and he had no clue. This led to a fight after a few weeks of no one cleaning the toilet. His idea is to have each person make a list of things they know need to be done like cooking, cleaning, mowing, etc. Then put the lists together and make a master list and make 2 copies. Then you each take a copy and put the initials of who you think should be in charge of each thing. Then when you're both done compare your lists and where you differ you discuss it until you come to an agreement on who does it or if you will share the responsibility.

There were other chapters like personality, love languages, and how you marry into a family not just one person. Yes you marry that person but their family becomes your family and there is no escaping that.

I highly recommend reading it even if you're single, dating, engaged, or married.

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